care/ful

some college updates bc i haven't written in a while:

rejected from both columbia and penn (expected). sarah lawrence took me off the waitlist, but they were way too expensive. i took a week-long solo trip to visit my 3 viable options (super fun and amazing; honestly i love traveling alone). was not even expecting it, but brandeis was the school where i got that dumb "feeling" like what the heck i was not prepared to feel that way.

i am SO excited to go to brandeis in the fall. i'm going to be near boston, near one of my best friends (and another lovable pal), near art museums, and just be in a place that is so inclusive and welcoming and full of amazing people. i can't wait to leave south dakota.

anyway, my summer has been okay. other than the fact that debate nationals has been taken away from me, i'm fine. i've definitely come to accept it. the reasoning was so stupid, but he doesn't change his mind often. i've been working and i enjoy it for the most part. i like getting tips and seeing people. sometimes, i just think about other things while working. i daydream so often these days.

i had my grad party yesterday and it was kind of a letdown. only about 20-30 people came, but they were good friends. but quite a different atmosphere than every other party that had a house full of relatives and a welcoming ambiance. my mom made so much food; i've got my lunch cut out for me for like the next 2 weeks. still, it was enjoyable.

my absolute favorite bro came and he just makes me so happy.

he's honestly the only boy that i feel totally comfortable with, like discussing everything with, and we have. i have hugged him more than i've hugged anyone. (and i'm so ick abt physical contact usually? like i only want it from certain ppl at certain times, or it usually just makes me feel so uncomfortable idk) he's so supportive and caring, i just feel so lucky to have him as a friend. i care so much about this kid. one of the main reasons i want to come back to judge debate or something, would be just to see him. i am so excited to see him grow (mentally and physically lol). and he will!! he has so much potential an

he's one of the few friends that i want to stay in touch with forever.

yeah i definitely like him!! a lot !! ugh ! 2 years !! the age difference is nothing, but at this age, it's significant. just for fun (and 2 satisfy my dumb brain) i googled leo/scorpio pairings and Dang Hecking Yes astrologically, we would make such a gr8 couple wow. two enigmatic, ambitious, passionate signs that care so deeply for each other, and respect each other, and are loyal like yes. in my dreams!!!!!!

is it too much to ask him to hang out sometime? i wouldn't even know how to.

either way, this summer is going 2 be a-ok. i'm going to go to concerts (twin peaks - for the 2nd time!! - w/ the best on june 13, maybe beach house in august? bc they're actually coming to south dakota which is so surreal). i'm going to maybe keep up on my etsy store and try to sell more of my stuff online. make more art! ride my bike around and draw. we'll see.

in other news, i'm on a huge jude law kick right now. i'm planning to watch all the movies he's in, at least on netflix anyway. i've seen anna karenina (he's not his young attractive self obvs, but love his voice and personification of karenin), the aviator (he had like 5 mins in this i was so disappointed), gattaca (the movie that got me into this obsession, thanks mrs. dix) and immortality (an interesting take on the stereotypical vampire movie, still pondering if i actually like it or if i just am too taken by young jude law's jawline).

i started watching scandal today as well. still deciding whether or not i like it more than how to get away with murder. they're both v good, but v similar. both solving sensational cases, while having that super dramatic series arc.

oh well !! here's to an okay summer before i finally get going w/ my life at brandeis.