the beam on his face

i'd like to think that i'm in a happy place right now.

i feel fine, great, all that. even though i just got finished with my science fair packet now, i feel like i did some good work and i'm satisfied (even though my project couldn't be supported lol). i finished a french exam as well and i think i did okay despite missing literally like all of the assignments last week.

tonight i went to a student congress tournament just to accept an award. i still feel like i don't deserve it, but i always sell myself short. it was a memorial award for a forensics member that showed great sportsmanship, success, and leadership overall in the 4-school region we're in and i guess i was nominated and chosen by the coaches. my coach gave a speech about me that made me smile and warmed my heart a lil, considering i don't get to hear things like that very often. it's so hard for me to express appreciation in person but i'm honestly so thankful.

also it was even better to hear a friend discuss a new conspiracy he's become so invested in. he doesn't believe it, but basically it comes down to aliens giving vaccines that cause autism for experiments in humans and paying the government and in order for the government to destroy some evidence, 9/11 occurred and bush was involved, etc., etc. it was so funny. "wait, a question: how do the aliens have human currency?" "no, they pay them using ... space dollars"

i'm so proud of how much this kid has grown in the past year. i remember when he stumbled through practice debates and a small number of tournaments last year, and this year he read so much philosophy (even starting to write a sleep-induced social contract of his own where he bashes capitalism that he wants to get published (???!!!)) and was so interested in debating and even though he beats himself up so much, he does so well and even was a semifinalist at the national qualifying tournament. he's now determined to qualify in student congress in the coming weeks and i really want him to qual. while there are several from our team trying to qual as well, i really think he deserves it.

i went to the state art show with him last saturday and we spent a good few hours bonding at the mall and downtown sioux falls. he's such a cool kid. he bought a kim k crying tank top from ragstock just because he was so impressed by it. he's actually so smart and planning to take calc as a junior next year. and he's such an enigma!! he simultaneously has that "yeah bro i lift" behavior but is still a huge nerd that likes art and philosophy. at practice on monday we discussed modern art and i think i convinced him to like cy twombly. like still i can't get over how proud i am of him??? he's going to do great things in life, i can totally feel it. (lol i totally have a mini crush on him like if i was 2 yrs younger i would sososo be pursuing him like he is the perfect dude w/ nice eyebrows and gr8 morals)

ok goodnite