acceptance

what i like about myself

my eyes, my music taste, my art, my fake confidence, the way i walk down halls

sometimes i wish i had been born in a different place with different opportunities and completely different people. how much of myself would have changed?

small town south dakota doesn't offer a lot for me. besides my state being not-so-great (scratch that, deplorable) recently (see: hb 1008 and 1182), there just isn't much to do. i adore my friends, but the enclosed environment is stifling. i can't wait to graduate in may.

sometimes i think about friends i've had and if i'll stay in touch. even with friends from last year, i've definitely drifted away from them. it's sort of like it happened naturally, we hang out with different people, some graduated early, we have different lives. yet i still feel like we have a connection, if we ever see each other, we smile, we say hi, but we just aren't close friends. it's sad, in a way.

i remember living in dc during my seventh grade year. when i came back, school was completely different. my old friends had new friends. i hung out with a former best friend and we sat in her dark afternoon living room and i was confused when she said "how can we blow off this day?". i never talked to her after that. i sometimes see her in the halls and wonder what her life is like now.

here's another lovely song



i like how i can stand in one place and stare at nothing for minutes. i love my glasses and my style. i like the smell of bread baking and microwave popcorn.

will i remain the same person i am now?