anticipation

where do i see myself in five years?

i'll be 22 yrs old, near the end of a gap year before attempting to undertake a doctorate in art history. i see myself in paris, i'm walking down a nondescript street, it's raining lightly, and i'm content.

i just checked up on my application to the university of rochester and it's on step 4 of 5: the committee review. it just feels so unnerving to have my fate rest in the hands of several people.

my top colleges are rochester, skidmore, sarah lawrence, and upenn. i applied to 2 ivy leagues, but they're long shots. one acquaintance i have is insanely smart and is already accepted at Oxford. he applied to columbia too and i feel so inadequate with my 3.8 gpa coupled with a drop of ap calculus. i need to stop comparing myself to others (which could be another post).

as time passes by i'm so worried about college. i am super excited, undoubtedly, but what if i don't get accepted anywhere i applied? i applied to nine colleges, but my safety isn't even all that safe. i should be going east coast. most of my friends are staying in the area of the upper midwest. i need to get out of this place.

i know i want to study art history and french. i want to study abroad in paris, like every other person. i know that science and math are definitely not my strengths and i do much better with writing and artistic endeavors. i know i want to keep doing my own art, but focus on my formal education. i think i have a clear path planned, but college decisions will impact it dramatically.



nevertheless, i am so looking forward to a new environment.