attraction

who even cares if i double post in a day ! i have a lot to say (to myself, in private, quietly).

i'm going to prom with a guy i have very mixed and confused feelings about.

first off, i was the one that asked him. sure, it was an impulsive move that i took only a day to organize, but there was fruit and puns and he liked it (and said yes - or, more accurately, "am i supposed to say yes?", jokingly). i'm totally excited to go with him because i am 100% sure it will be much more enjoyable than last year's prom of regret.

he is a grade below me, he's so funny and adorable, and cares a lot about his classes. we're both in debate, environmental club, and ap biology. we have some similarities, yet a ton of differences. about those grades? he cares so much. he wants to become a neurosurgeon, or something along the lines. i absolutely am happy that he knows what he wants to do and is trying to achieve his goals. but he can be so withdrawn sometimes. he gets uncomfortable easily. i'm sure that can change with time, as most teenage boys are like this anyway.

i haven't ever tried to get a boyfriend. when i was younger i thought, yeah, high school, that's where it all happens, but now that i'm at this point, i'm thinking, yep, college. i don't think being in a relationship now would work out at all, especially when i'll hopefully be leaving for a college far, far away in six months. one of my close friends tried speaking with him about me and he said he wouldn't really want to and it's against his religion (but he has had a girlfriend before, which from what i've heard did not go well). to be honest, i was a bit disappointed due to my huge ego, but i accepted it.

so many of my friends have been like "oh, you guys would look so cute together!" but being in a relationship shouldn't be about the image. sure, i think we're going to absolutely kill it at prom, but i don't think there will be anything more to us than just friends.

i think the number one thing i find attractive in guys is a certain air of coolness. i like guys that are chill, they go with the flow. but not too much. they take life seriously when they need to, but overall, they're cool. i often get this attraction toward random boys in public, especially on public transport (@ the boy i stood next to for literally only one tube stop in london). also, good hair is a must. (like dark, floofy hair, ugh i'm a sucker for that. cute glasses too.)



if i ever was in a cheesy rom-com and there was a montage of happy times w/ a significant other, this would be the music.

we'll see what happens in my life! future me, if you're ever reading this, i hope you're happy with what you've done.